A taste of heaven
by Adriana Espan
Summary: Draco had a taste of heaven, only to fall back to earth again. What if Harry never did come back after he decided to sacrifice himself in the Forbidden Forest? DM/HP. Slash.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or The Little Prince.**

**Merry Belated Christmas! **

* * *

**A taste of heaven**

He had a taste of heaven, only to fall back to earth again.

At least, on certain days, he could assure himself that he knew what heaven tasted like, although he would never be able to taste it again. Ever again.

Pure bliss. That's what it tasted like.

* * *

_Is it possible, to hurt so much that you can't feel anything anymore?_

Draco grieved, way too much in a normal person's view, for his loss. But then again, was it really too much? The most important thing in his life, snatched away from him.

He was never loved like that, not by his parents, not by his friends, not by his godfather. Maybe that's why he had so desperately clung to it.

In the end, Harry was still gone, regardless of how much he tried.

Draco was always in a daze after that day. Shock? Perhaps.

Many times a day, he would sit there staring into space, and no one could get a response out of him.

In reality, scenes were flashing in his mind, For him, the past is better than reality, in a way.

Draco could remember the time when he begged Harry to flee with him, to somewhere they could be safe and happy.

Harry just smiled sadly. "You know that's not possible, Draco. How could I? They are all depending on me." _Depending on you to save the world, again._

At that moment, Draco wanted to strangle him, to tell him that no, he was not bring selfless at all, but instead being selfish to those who cared so much for him. Running headlong into danger. What would happen when he's … gone?

Yet somehow, Draco couldn't tell Harry what he felt. Damn, he just couldn't let Harry go like this! He couldn't be as selfless as Harry, and he admitted it.

Harry was right, he knew, but no one in the right mind would ever let someone so dear go without a fight.

In the end, Draco let him go, because he loved him so.

So what if it hurt so much, so much that he couldn't feel anything at all? As long as Harry was happy. As long as Harry wouldn't live the rest of his life in misery because he couldn't save the world when he could have … with the price of his life.

Still, he hadn't expected it to be this painful, till he couldn't even breathe. Till he felt numb.

* * *

_What does it mean, when the whole world is full of pain? You see pain, you hear pain, you feel pain. Everywhere is full of _pain.

The first thing he knew when he woke up was _pain_. Pain, everywhere. Well, he hadn't slept willingly, but his eyelids were just closed for a moment before he dozed off. After all, he haven't slept for a few days straight.

Draco thought that perhaps the shock had worn off, and the pain was finally felt. Was it even shock? More likely denial.

It was not as if he didn't know that Harry would die. He knew it from the moment Harry decided to fight Voldemort until the very end. Somehow, at the back of his mind, he knew that he was going to lose him forever.

But there was that strand of hope, no matter how thin it was, deep down in his heart.

Harry was always lucky, after all. Maybe this time some miracle would happen again. In the end, there wasn't a miracle. Just pain, and more pain.

He felt pain when he thought of him, when he saw his things, when he heard his friends grieving for him, when he smelt something that just reminded him of Harry, and even silence pained him. No, silence pained him even more; it was the very reminder that Harry was not there anymore.

Quidditch, books, treacle tarts, everything he used to love, only pained him even further.

* * *

_Maybe he would regret loving him more than anything else, but never, _ever,_ in his life would he regret loving him._

Draco never expected to fall so deep. Then again, he never expected to fall in love with one Harry Potter.

Draco laughed with him, grieved with him, fought with him, study with him, quarreled with him, and even though the memories hurt him so when he was gone, he would not trade his memories for anything.

Those were his best three years.

Draco would remember everything about Harry, how he laughed, how his eyes glistened in the moonlight, the way his hands moved animatedly when he talked, the sarcastic remarks he made when he was annoyed… So much, so many… What if he forgot about him?

No… no, he didn't want to forget him. Never.

Especially not the last night they had been together.

They were lying on the grass while gazing at the stars outside the tent. The next day they would go to Hogwarts to destroy the last three Horcruxes, and eventually, Voldemort.

"Draco." Harry suddenly said.

"Hmmm?"

"No, I mean, there's Draco, in the sky." Harry chuckled lightly and pointed at the sky.

Draco smiled. "Never thought you were good at Astronomy, huh?"

"Hey! Well…" Harry blushed a little (Well, Draco guessed he did, knowing him well. It was a little too dark to see the small change in color of his face.), "I was curious how the constellation look like..."

"Sure, you were just curious." Draco smirked.

A silence ensued between the both of them, with each following their own train of thought.

Finally, Harry broke it, "Have you heard of The Little Prince? When the little prince was going to die, he said 'You - you alone will have the stars as no one else has them...In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing.-'"

"'-alors ce sera pour toi comme si riaient toutes les étoiles. Tu auras, toi, des étoiles qui savent rire! Et quand tu sera consolé (on se console toujours) tu seras content de m'avoir connu.' Well, I did read a little on Muggle classics since I've dated you, and that was a nice story, I must say."

"Draco." Harry said seriously, and it sounded somewhat troubled in Draco's ears.

"Yes?"

"If I die-"

"You wouldn't."

"I said _if._ Promise me, you would be happy, alright? I would stay in the stars, most likely in Draco, watching over you. And I beg you… remember me - no, that would be very selfish of me, wouldn't it?- Forget me, and move on. Promise me?"

_How could I? How could I forget you? Not you, never you._

Draco remained silent.

"Draco?"

"I don't know."

"I know you will. I know you will move on."

_How did you know? What if I never did move on? Would you be angry?_

"Don't cry, okay? I'll just be in the stars."

_Malfoys do _not _cry. But Harry's… special. Worth crying for._

"And don't even _think _about trying to follow me."

Draco did not tell him that was his plan originally. He was very tempted to follow Harry if he ever left him. But Harry wouldn't want it. Of course he wouldn't, he was too noble for his own good.

Was this really their last night together? They wouldn't be able to gaze at the stars anymore? It was too short. Three years was too short.

* * *

_You promised me to never leave me, but hell, that's a lie. Where are you when I need you most? When I'm… … missing you?_

Walking in the Forbidden Forest felt _odd_. A part of him was in agony, trying to persuade him to leave the place where Harry had died.

Another part wanted to come here. He had been avoiding this place since Harry's death- in fact, he did not go anywhere since that day, and this was his first time leaving his room- but something, something told him to come here.

To find Harry's lost soul, maybe? Draco gave a harsh laugh. How stupid. He must have gone crazy.

However, as he walked, he saw something shiny fluttering in the grass. He quickly whipped out his wand and was on his guard.

Fairy? What in Merlin's name was that?

Curiosity got the better of him and Draco walked towards the unidentified mysterious organism or object.

What could it be?

The Golden Snitch! Harry's Snitch!

Why was it here? Did he drop it before his death? What happened exactly? He would most probably never know.

He went forward and picked it up. It was hollow and the Snitch was opened.

He closed it and fingered the words. _I open at the close._

What did it mean? Harry must have understood what it meant and opened it.

He stared at the Snitch and held it at eye level to and inspect it closely. Leaning against a random tree, he put the snitch against his lips. That was how Harry made the words appear, wasn't it?

Maybe, just maybe, he would be able to Harry's breath once more, to just have something that felt like Harry. To feel Harry once more, as though he was still there, alive.

The only things the Snitch brought back were memories he had shared with Harry.

The camp together in the Horcrux hunt, and mostly the carefree days with them playing Quidditch.

Since they were both Seekers, they would always get a Snitch to compete on who would get it first. It would be a totally friendly match, and no matter who had won, they would always end up laying on the Quidditch Pitch laughing.

The both of them were all good seekers, but Draco refused to admit that Harry was better. Must be the genes, Draco always tells himself.

But now, he would tell Harry anything he wanted, from admitting Harry was a better Seeker to Harry being more handsome and popular than him.

_Anything_,as long as he comes back again.

_Then there would be no fun, wouldn't it? _Harry's voice rang through his head. _Where would all the fun be when you are not Draco anymore? Not the Draco I love so much?_

"Harry…"

But he wasn't the Draco Harry knew so well anymore. Harry wouldn't know how much his death had changed him.

His eyes blurred, and he knew that whatever he would do, it would never bring Harry back again.

* * *

_At least he had a taste of heaven once. Even if it was way too short._

Draco's hand brushed Harry's hair as he watched him sleep soundly.

Draco did not dare move an inch, just peacefully gazed at Harry while he breathed slowly and evenly, his head on Draco's chest.

He bent down to let his lips brush past Harry's forehead, and broke into a small, peaceful smile.

So this is what heaven tastes like. Harry. It tastes like Harry.

~Le Fin~

**A/N: The French part of the quote is 'And so it will be as if all the stars will be laughing when you look at the sky at night..You, only you, will have stars that can laugh! And when your sorrow is comforted (we will always be comforted) you will be content that you have known me...' **  
**The quote continues like this: You will always be my friend. You will want to laugh with me. And you will sometimes open your window, so, for that pleasure... It will be as if, in place of the stars, I had given you a great number of little bells that knew how to laugh. Well, I just love French and have to add it in French :D I do not own The Little Prince.**

**I think this will be my last Harry Potter fanfiction, not that I outgrow HP (One does not simply outgrow Harry Potter), but because… I have not no inspiration, I guess? Harry Potter will always be my favorite book series~**

**Damn, I guess I just love writing about deaths. Around half of my stories are about death. Heh heh.**


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